??'s for the post -ops

so a good friend of mine had surgery on monday and has been telling me not to go through with the surgery after all, thats its worse than c-section pain, and she is constantly hungry. she has sd she is trying to eat cuz pain is soo bad and keeps throwing up. she sd the food the food she has tried is the yummy but bad kind ( sorry i cant type it cuz im on liquid and cant even type abt food lmao) but nothing stays down i reminded her that she supposed to be on liquids only and to rest but she just keeps telling me not to do it.. she even texted my hubby and told him not to let me do it that i will end up regretting it and if you all remember from my posts on main board its hard enough getting support from him or my family. i admit she is making me nervous but my decision will not sway..how can i tell her nicely to stop

At this point she is going through the regrets phase but making it worse by not seeing if she needs more or better antacid or nausea meds, and making getting her fluids in her number one priority. She's may be sick all the time from acid or from dehydration or both.

A trick to getting water in when you have an acidic stomach is to squeeze a little lime or lemon juice in your water and sweeten with Splenda. You can also try it warm, hot or cool. Temp matters to some folks. Hang tough!

--gina

Many people have regrets early out.....I had a few nights of "what have I done" and I really did not have a complicated recovery.  I would tell her that she would not have appreciated receiving these texts/calls pre-op and that although you really feel for her, to please stop!  If she does not stop looking at what she writes and stop answering the phone. 

I have no experience with surgery before RNY but I can say that it was bearable, worth it for me, and I did fine.  There are risks to this but I am guessing you have already thought through this and decided that this what YOU wanted to do.

Hang in there! 

p.s. if you follown the "rules" post surgery this will help with NOT being sick, etc.  Not a guarantee but it makes a difference.   Every surgeon is different but MOST do not allow food within the first week.

Good luck.

~~Jennifer

I guess she is trying to be helpful but it sounds like she is the one who needs help.  She isn't following her plan for one.  If she is nauseas, there are medications to help.  Yes, there is pain in the beginning, you had surgery.  But every day, I felt better and could do more.  I followed the rules and was never sick (not that everyone who gets sick isn't following the rules). 
I think she was not prepared for what is happening to her.  She really isn't hungry.  The nerves were cut and she can't feel hunger.  She thinks she is hungry, called head hunger. 
It sounds like she is on pain meds and not making sense.
I'm not sure how nice I would be about telling her in no uncertain terms to STOP.  Take care of herself and you will take care of you.  I would direct her back to what she is suppose to be doing, sipping, walking and resting.  Remind her that she can cause serious complications that REALLY hurt if she keeps going off program.  Remind her to call her Dr if she continues to be sick.  Geeze, I wonder what some folks think this is all about.

ya and u know the funny thing is pre-op i kept telling her that after surgery alot of people have the buyers remorse thing and all that but she wouldnt even listen to it. she said she has no more pain she is just really hungry and that  was abt it i have decided to just click ignore on my cell when its her and sent her a text saying well i appreciate her friendship i dont appreciate her negative views on RNy and in order to keep myself positive as long as she makes negative statements i will not communicate with her.  i care abt her but i care abt myself more.

You have to do what is best for you. Each of us is different. I remember that I was in a lot of pain at first, but I new it was right for me. I also felt really hungry as well. The funny thing is, prior to surgery, I could ignore hunger easily. That is why I knew everyone was correct when they said it was head hunger. I learned to have strained hot and sour soup, and strained egg drop soup when I felt I had to have "real food" during the liquid stage. Everyone else is right, try to be her friend but listen to your Dr and do what you need to do for yourself.

I am going to tell you that I am 2 days out from my surgery.  And yes those thoughts of regret do come traipsing through your mind.   And what I am talking about is why did I do this.   And this is only because of all the pain.   But then I look at what is in store for me ahead.   And what my life will be like in a years time.  And what my wonderful sweet husband will come home to when he gets back from overseas.  So if I can purrsuade you to stay on course I hope that this works.  Because it does get easier as the days go by.

Wow...I hate that your friend is being like this about your surgery.  I am five days out, had surgery on Wednesday.  I hurt, I have pain meds for that.  It helps me get through the rough times.  I'm also dealing with my left knee that needs surgery too.  I have to say that so far I've not had any regretful thoughts.  I've not had any nausea yet nor have I felt hungry.  The thing I have to remember is that this surgery is not the same for everyone.  I am following my dr's instructions to a T.  I feel like this: I've invested a lot of time and money into this to mess it up by not following the dr's instructions.   Your experience may not be of the kind your friend is experiencing.  One thing I would not be very kind about is texting my husband.  I would definitely say that for me that is crossing the lines of friendship.  But like I said, that's me.  I'm glad you're not letting her change your mind.  Hold on to that and keep us posted on how things go for you!

 

 

A few things you can say to your friend....
"Gosh I'm so sorry you're having a tough time.  Is there anything I can do for you?  I sure hope things turn around for you soon.  Hang in there (insert friend's name here) and things will get easier.  I'm here if you need me.  I know you think you're looking out for my best interest but I've made my decision and I know these first few weeks will be tough.  I'm still going to have my surgery and in a few months we'll be laughing about these "warnings" that you've given me!"

Give her a few weeks and she will change her tune.  The first 2-3 weeks are very difficult - especially if you have problems with pain and nausea.  But it gets better - REALLY...it gets better and most people will tell you the only regret they had was that they waited so long to do it.

It's been 6 years since my surgery and I can tell you that I had a period of about 15 minutes the day after where I had a mini melt-down thinking that I'd ruined my life forever.  Once I got past that I never looked back.   RNY saved my life and I don't regret if for one second.

 I would put my foot down about texting the hubby. That's inappropriate.